How Jiu-Jitsu Improved Our Family Relations | The Pierson's Family Q and A
Submission Shark Community | Instagram: @piersonsbjj
Full Name: Jeff Pierson
Age: 40
Belt Colour: Blue with four little white stripes on it 😉
Professor: Kyle Mccutchen and John Sylvester
Short Term Goals: Get to class four days a week every week.
How long have you been doing jiu-jitsu for?
3 years
Where do you train out of?
Kindred Jiujitsu Edmonds Washington, USA
Do you prefer gi or no gi?
I train both, why limit myself to one form or the other. The goal in martial arts is to be as well rounded as possible that means to train in the Gi or without it, it means to train for self-defence and sport. I love the gi because gi chokes are fun but nogi can be so much more dynamic and fluid with the lack of handles that the gi provides. The scrambles are much more exciting in nogi but also sometimes I love to use the gi to slow things down to put the breaks on someone. In the fall and winter we have heavy clothes on the mimics the Gi and in the summer we don't which mimics nogi. Train both don't put limitations on your martial art.
I agree with you. I think a complete martial artist should not limit himself/herself. Jiu-Jitsu is an art form and creativity mixed with technique is essential. Learning both is essential in my opinion. However, some schools don't offer both styles of BJJ. So here's a jiu-jitsu resource that may help you be more effective at both nogi and gi.
Have your instructors helped you in other aspects of life other than jiu-jitsu?
My professors are both family men first, that happen to have black belts in jiujitsu, they are role models to me for sure. "Dadding" it as we say at the academy can be hard while also pursuing a passion of your own. They are not superhuman men by any means if they can obtain the rank of a black belt so can I. They are always an ear for me to chew on whether it is BJJ related or not which is much appreciated.
I love sharing something with my boys that we can do together. They love having a coach Daddy.
What are some lessons you learned from jiu-jitsu that applies to everyday life?
Jiu-jitsu will humble you, it will make you a better loser before it will make you a winner. What I mean is that in jiujitsu there is always someone better than you are, there is always someone who can beat you. Because you will lose and lose often jiujitsu will make you used to failure, it will make losing competitions but you will begin to win as well. One match here another match there, if you compete you will begin to win at your local tournaments in time. Because of the fact you will get used to losing, your mindset will change and losing isn't a big deal anymore. You will lose, you will analyze your matches, you will plan on how to fix your failures and you will progress and move on, those traits are essential in life on and off the mats.
To some people it's just tape, to others it's going to class 3 or 4 days a week, being beaten, being sore, losing more times than you can count and still showing up to class to train. Progress is visually displayed in belt colors, and stripes of white tape, but progress is experienced and lived with the lessons learned on the mat that leads to the personal growth of character which we can carry with us off the mat.
How often do you train?
I try to train 4 days a week, sometimes I miss one because life gets in the way but usually, I can get all 4 days in. If I train more than 4 days a week. sparring or not sparring, I get real sore my body can't recover fast enough.
What made you want to start training?
I had done Aikido for 7 years before training jiu-jitsu and I obtained my brown belt but I felt like something was missing. My wife's family is from Guam and if you know anyone from Guam you know that jiu-jitsu is ingrained in their communities and their lives. Our family members had tried to get me to start jiu-jitsu for a long time but I had always ignored them as I thought Aikido was all I needed. After 7 years of training, as I said, I felt like I was missing something. At this point in training, my family didn't train with me either, I missed them when I was training. When I finally took the first step on the jiu-jitsu mat I took my two sons with me. My sons had a blast they thought they were just playing and wrestling around with other kids my youngest was 4 almost 5 and my oldest was 7 at the time. That was three years ago, now my two sons, my niece, my wife, and my twin brother all train regularly.
Do you plan on training your whole life?
ABSOLUTELY! I really enjoy having something I can do as a family together. Too often parents sit on the sidelines and watch their kids play sports or do other activities, I am fortunate to have something I can do WITH my kids and my wife. I started a family jiu-jitsu class at my school where parents and kids get to train together, I have a great deal of pride and I feel great joy to watch our kid students choke out or tap out mom and dad.
What’s it about jiu-jitsu that makes it so addicting?
It's the community, everyone in jiu-jitsu that I have met so far is so nice, polite and humble. Walking around a jiu-jitsu tournament you feel like you are walking around with the family. The competitors that I have competed against I am now friends with on IG and FB, I talk to them regularly. When I walk around town in jiu-jitsu clothing I often have other jiu-jitsu practitioners approach me and we get a small chat in about training and competing.
It's also the endorphins you get while sparring with someone at 100%, I truly believe jiu-jitsu is the only martial art that you can compete against someone at 100% and still walk away healthy, usually, lol. I love the fact that I can get so tired that I want to quit, you are covered in sweat that you look like you jumped into a pool but then you continue on, you work past your exhaustion, you work past your insecurities, your fear, you get used to being in that uncomfortable zone.
What has jiu-jitsu done for your physical health?
I have lost 40 pounds and I plan to lose more. My resting heart rate has dropped from 70 beats per minute to 50 beats per minute and my blood pressure has gone from hypertension to excellent.
Has jiu-jitsu benefited your mental health?
It has made me mentally tougher, it has given me the self-confidence that I didn't have. Jiujitsu has checked my ego, I feel I don't need to argue as often anymore or that winning and losing has become a non-issue off the mat. I could care less if I win a verbal argument with someone, I am a lot less confrontational in any situation. I don't feel the need to try and be the toughest guy in the room, why bother. Because of all these facts, I am a lot happier.
If you could restart your jiu-jitsu journey, would you do anything different?
I would slow down and train less when I'm injured. I have been plagued with injuries, last year I broke my left hand I had to get it pinned back together and I still trained with a cast on. Then just two weeks after getting my cast off I tore my left shoulder, I got a SLAP tear in my left shoulder along with a quarter sized piece of cartilage was ripped out, I probably should have tapped faster when I got stuck in that Kimura. I think my shoulder was weak from my hand being in a cast for 8 weeks, I should have trained much slower when the cast came off until my strength had returned.
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What’s your advice for someone that’s never tried jiu-jitsu before but is interested in trying it?
Try it, it will change your life! I can guarantee jiu-jitsu will make anyone a better person.
Do you have any aspirations in jiu-jitsu?
I will open my own school one day. It has been a goal of mine to open up a dojo/academy for the last 10 years that I have been training in martial arts.
What’s your favourite move?
At first, I read this as "what is your favourite movie" I was going to say John Wick of course!!!
This is probably the hardest question so far. I think the omoplata but I was really hot and heavy into the D'arce and anaconda chokes last year. I am certain my favourite move will change again, maybe by tomorrow.
If you didn’t discover jiu-jitsu, where do you think you’d be now?
Sitting at home getting fatter and watching life pass me by. I still would have dropped out of Aikido as I was training in it alone. My beer gut and dad bod would have been amazing though!
Would you like to see the sport become more mainstream?
I would love to see jiu-jitsu in the Olympics
Has any of your training partners pushed you to reach your full potential?
My family is what drives me and they ARE my best training partners. Seeing the pride in my son's eyes when their dad is a jiu-jitsu coach, hearing my wife cheer for me when I'm competing, and me cheering for my niece while she is competing is all the drive I will ever need. My sons are my "assistant coaches" at the family jiujitsu class and they are so proud of that fact. My youngest son said he loves jiu-jitsu for three reasons, his best friend AJ trains, he loves family jiujitsu and he loves armbars, lol! My wife doesn't have the competitive bug but when she got her blue-belt I literally cried, I was so proud of her. My niece lives with us and her and I are quite competitive, she is definitely my battle buddy. My niece and I try to do every competition together. Our competitiveness is to the point that we count our medals to see who has more medals from competitions, right now I think she is 4 ahead of me, grrrrrrrr.
When you were first starting, what was the most difficult concept of jiu-jitsu that you had trouble getting?
How to relax. I used to be so panicked on the bottom of some big guys and I would almost have a panic attack, I have been submitted from top pressure alone, and I would gas out within a minute or two of rolling. Once I learned to embrace those uncomfortable positions and I learned to breath when I am rolling my jiu-jitsu world changed. Now I can spar for an hour no problem, I am still dead tired but I learn where I can and can't rest so I can keep training.
What makes you want to inspire and motivate others?
My parents raised me with a very strong sense of family. When we needed each other we dropped everything and we helped each other, period, no if and or buts about it. My family and I are still that way, that deeply ingrained family value has bled over into my sense of community and the man I want to be. With my wife being from a small island and being Filipino her sense of community was even stronger so it was natural for her as well. We live to help others to see the joy on others faces and we always do what we can to ensure that others are happy.
Has jiu-jitsu brought your family closer together?
Without question. My family is jiu-jitsu and we share our journey.
Would you like to see more families training together?
Yes, I would. Like I touched upon earlier to often as parents we sit on the sidelines and watch our children participate in whatever sort or extracurricular activity they do. We get lazy then develop those mom and dad bods and somehow get used to the fact that our young days are over. But we don't have too!!! We can share an activity with our children, we can have common goals we can set the example, we can even look up to our children's success on the mat. This dynamic of looking up to your children, having your children look up to you leads to a level of sharing in each other lives that can not normally be reached when you have two completely separate paths in life, none of your goals are similar yet live in the same household.
What would you tell someone that wants to get a family member to join but they are unsure and nervous about trying a class?
Be persistent and invite them to try a class with you. It has taken time but I have been able to recruit my twin brother, a close cousin, another niece of mine that doesn't live with us, a few nephews, and even a coworker into the jiu-jitsu community. The hardest part is getting on the mat. When I started I had to get on the mat alone it was a big step to do so. I was extremely nervous and anxious that first day when I walked into my academy. If you can have them join a class with you they will have a friend on the mat already, it will be easier to get past the anxiety and build up the courage to try a class. I explain to them that martial arts is about breaking out of your comfort zone and that first day on the mat will be the most uncomfortable time in your training, so even after day one you have made a huge accomplishment!
Submission Shark Community | @pging7
Full Name: Jenny Pierson
Age: 40
Belt Colour: 1 stripe blue belt
Professor: Kyle McCutchen and John Sylvester
Short Term Goals: To get more training time in, and to just work on being better at jiujitsu.
How long have you been doing jiu-jitsu for?
2 1/2 years
Where do you train out of?
Kindred Jiujitsu, Edmonds Washington USA
Do you prefer gi or nogi?
I usually train in a gi. I don't do much nogi training. I enjoy training in a gi because even though it may not allow you to move quicker or more freely, it gives me handles to help control my opponent, and working on chokes using the gi is always fun.
Have your instructors helped you in other aspects of life other than jiu-jitsu?
Both of my Professors are great men. I love that they are family oriented because I and my family are all about family first. They are always encouraging both in and out of the academy. Both Professors care a lot about the students in our academy and always strive to make our academy a place of home away from home.
What are some lessons you learned from jiu-jitsu that applies to everyday life?
Jiujitsu is very humbling. It is a martial art that has taught me that it's ok to lose. I've had some frustrations during my jiujitsu journey, and those frustrations were about me and my training. But I have learned to be patient with myself and even with those, I train with. With that mindset, I think I've gotten better and I certainly have a better attitude.
How often do you train?
I train twice a week. Sometimes it's hard to do more training because of other everyday life responsibilities. But I would certainly like to try and get myself to train more.
What made you want to start training?
You know, in the beginning, I actually didn't see myself ever training in jiujitsu. I am a bit claustrophobic and didn't think I could handle being in such close encounters with someone who's trying to smother me or what not. I also couldn't imagine being able to stand someone else's sweat dripping on my face. LOL!! But since my husband and 2 boys were training, and having so many family friends training in this sport, I thought why not give it a try. After getting on the mats and trying it out, I haven't looked back since.
Do you plan on training your whole life?
I hope to continue training as long as I can, especially since my whole family trains. I do love and enjoy that my whole family trains jiujitsu, and I can say that I take pride in the fact that we all train together and have something to share.
What’s it about jiu-jitsu that makes it so addicting?
For me, although it may sound silly, it's walking out of the academy feeling accomplished with being able to go against my fellow teammates, who is higher ranked than me, and lasting a little bit longer with them each time when rolling. I may not win during those times rolling with them, but I'm ok with that. Also, the sense of family and community that our academy puts out, is what keeps me coming back.
What has jiu-jitsu done for your physical health?
I never really enjoyed exercising. But when I do jiujitsu, I get that feeling of accomplishment in getting myself in better physical health than when I wasn't doing it. If that makes any sense!
Has jiu-jitsu benefited your mental health?
Jiujitsu has certainly given me more self-confidence, and it has helped me to remain humble.
If you could restart your jiu-jitsu journey, would you do anything different?
I think with how my journey started, being slow and steady, it's where I want to be. I didn't want to ever feel rushed in learning this martial art, and I'm ok with that.
What’s your advice for someone that’s never tried jiu-jitsu before but is interested in trying it?
I would say to just give it a shot because it surely is life-changing, and you've got nothing to lose.
Do you have any aspirations in jiu-jitsu?
I help out in our kids class at our academy, and I hope to leave a positive footprint with the kids I help teach, especially with my own 2 boys. Jiujitsu is a great martial art to help boost self-confidence, and I hope to help others gain that boost.
What’s your favourite move?
Gosh, this is a good question as well as a hard one for me. I continue to learn tons of jiujitsu moves every time I step on the mats, and learning the different ways to achieve the same move, is what I enjoy. But I guess I would say that collar chokes would be something I usually try to go for.....or even arm locks when the opportunity presents itself.
If you didn’t discover jiu-jitsu, where do you think you’d be now?
Being that everyday life responsibilities keep me busy already, I guess it would be doing that all day every day. Going to jiujitsu class is kind of a way or place for me to change up the monotony of life's responsibilities. But hey, I wouldn't change my life for anything.
Would you like to see the sport become more mainstream?
I think this sport is already getting a lot of spotlights, in my opinion, and I think that's great!
Has any of your training partners pushed you to reach your full potential?
My family, especially my Husband Jeff and Niece Eailani, are who push me to reach my full potential. Without them, I wouldn't be putting much effort into my training, let alone even train jiu-jitsu. I train because my family trains, and because I enjoy training with them. My teammates also push me to be better, but my family is my number 1 supporters in this sport.
40 years today?! Pfffftttt.... you're not 40! You're 25 with 15 years experience!! 😉😙 HAPPY BIRTHDAY NEN!! You're the world’s best husband, and father. The most wonderful thing I decided to do was to share my life and heart with you! You are my anchor and my shield and I am blessed to be your wife. I pray that God will grant you a long life and happiness so that we will be together and celebrate many more birthdays to come. The boys and I love you so very much! 💕🎂🎉🎈🍺
When you were first starting, what was the most difficult concept of jiu-jitsu that you had trouble getting?
The trouble I had, in the beginning, was simply having the confidence in myself to be able to do the basic fundamentals in this sport and to be able to train with others who were/are ahead of me in this sport. I'm a bit of a shy person, and as silly as that may seem, it was something I struggled with in the beginning.
What makes you want to inspire and motivate others?
Seeing others happy and as well as just having a positive attitude is what makes me happy. If I can be that person who helps others find joy in this sport or just in life in general, then I will be that person.
Has jiu-jitsu brought your family closer together?
Most definitely!!! It has also has given myself and my family an extended family/community within our academy.
Would you like to see more families training together?
Yes, I certainly would! Actually, in our academy, we have a class on Friday evenings for Family BJJ. My Husband, Jeff, and I run the Family BJJ class and enjoy it very much. We've got a few kids along with their parents who train jiujitsu on a normal basis, and it's awesome to see.
Jeff: I love family bjj and my boys do too. They take a lot of pride in being my assistant coaches. My son is helping me with the leg drag to knee on belly.
What would you tell someone that wants to get a family member to join but they are unsure and nervous about trying a class?
I would tell them to just give it a try because there's nothing to lose, and that it'll be worth getting into. It can be very intimidating, especially for women, to get on the mat to even try it once. But I'd say you wouldn't know if you'd like it if you don't try it. I was intimidated to try it, and it was mainly because there weren't many women training in our academy when I first started. But now it's not that way anymore.
Submission Shark Community | Instagram: @eailani_joy
Full Name: Eailani Joy Palacios Escalera
Age: 20
Belt Colour: Blue
Professor: Kyle McCutchen and John Sylvester
Short Term Goals: To leave a positive influence on my teammates and the kids who train at my academy, to help other women gain knowledge and confidence in the art and within themselves, and to continue training and competing.
How long have you been doing jiu-jitsu for?
About 2 years, but before jiu-jitsu, I was involved in sports such as rugby, basketball, and paddling (outrigger canoe), along with a few years in Kokikai Aikido.
Where do you train out of?
Kindred Jiu Jitsu, Edmonds WA
Do you prefer gi or no-gi?
Personally, I prefer both. They are both different styles of Jiu Jitsu and benefit me in a self-defence point-of-view. You can’t just train one or the other, you have to find a balance to fit both into your training to become a well rounded martial artist in Jiu Jitsu.
Have your instructors helped you in other aspects of life other than jiu-jitsu?
They are both very inspiring men that I look up to not only within jiu Jitsu, but outside of the academy as well. They are very family oriented, which reflects how they care about their students. They do their best to make everyone know that they are “seen” and not invisible. I proudly follow them as their student and do my best to reflect this trait to my peers.
What are some lessons you learned from jiu-jitsu that applies to everyday life?
Some important lessons I learned are to be humble, kind and understanding. Jiu Jitsu has taught me that acting tough and mean is never the answer to any situation. Understanding others and the problem is what will lead me to a positive outcome. When you act tough and mean, no one wants to be your friend. You could be the best martial artist, win the biggest competitions, and beat everyone, but if you have a poor attitude, none of that matters.
How often do you train?
As a full-time college student, it is hard to get training time in. I help teach kids class and train in adult’s class twice a week at the least, but I try to fit the third day in for myself. Otherwise, I’d be there almost every day.
What made you want to start training?
My family is who got me to start training. While I was living on Guam, they have already started training, then when I moved out here to Washington, I tried it out and was immediately hooked.
Do you plan on training your whole life?
As long as my body allows it, I will train as long as I can. Once I can no longer train, I do plan on being as involved in the Jiu-Jitsu community as I can.
What’s it about jiu-jitsu that makes it so addicting?
The adrenaline rush, it is very practical, it is a great community, it’s just awesome.
What has jiu-jitsu done for your physical health?
If I didn’t train Jiu Jitsu after getting out of high school, I probably wouldn’t be doing any sort of physical activity. It definitely keeps me in shape.
Has jiu-jitsu benefited your mental health?
Yes, it has taught me to be even more humble, to practice my “fight or flight” responses, to be more aware of my surroundings, and to think of things at multiple angles.
If you could restart your jiu-jitsu journey, would you do anything different?
No, I love where I am now in Jiu Jitsu and I always say, “Things always happen for a reason.”
What’s your advice for someone that’s never tried jiu-jitsu before but is interested in trying it?
You need to give it no less than 5 classes to really get a feel for what Jiu Jitsu is. Out of all the martial arts that you could practice, I highly recommend Jiu Jitsu. It is a great self-defence martial art, it is very practical, and it is a great community.
Do you have any aspirations in jiu-jitsu?
I hope to leave a positive footprint for others to follow that will leave them with the same humbleness and confidence that Jiu Jitsu has given me.
What’s your favourite move?
ARMBAR!!!!!!!!!!
If you didn’t discover jiu-jitsu, where do you think you’d be now?
If I didn’t join Jiu Jitsu, I would probably be on the sidelines watching my family train and compete. I would be a totally different person and wouldn’t see UFC fights the same way as I do now.
Would you like to see the sport become more mainstream?
I kind of like where it is now. It is something that is unique to my teammates and I. If everyone did it, I’d be like everyone else and it could also affect the self-defence purpose of training.
Has any of your training partners pushed you to reach your full potential?
My teammates push me every day. Being the smallest person in the gym, I am constantly challenged which is very beneficial as a competitor and as a small young woman.
When you were first starting, what was the most difficult concept of jiu-jitsu that you had trouble getting?
Being an athlete and a fast learner, I didn’t have much trouble learning technique, but what I struggled with at first was my confidence because I was such a shy person.
What makes you want to inspire and motivate others?
I want to show others that if I can do it, so can they. I want others to feel the type of confidence I have and share something that I love to do with them.
Has jiu-jitsu brought your family closer together?
Yes, it is my family time. My entire family trains, and even started a family class where kids get to train with their parents. My culture is all about family and I am so glad that Jiu Jitsu provides a family environment.
Would you like to see more families training together?
Yes, Jiu-Jitsu is for EVERYONE. It is a great way for people to share something in common and bring them closer to one another.
What would you tell someone that wants to get a family member to join but they are unsure and nervous about trying a class?
I do well with working with people who are shy because I’ve been in their shoes. The whole reason I started helping with kids class is that I was able to talk to a few kids who were nervous to step on the mat and got them to start training. I would tell them to bring their family member into class when I’m there so I could introduce myself to them and do my best to make them feel comfortable, telling them my Jiu Jitsu story and my opinion on why they should try it out.
Submission Shark:
They say a family that trains together stays together and I hope you all keep training together. I think it's amazing that you have a passion to share with your family and for that, I envy you haha. Thanks for the tips on how to get family members to join, hopefully, those tips are effective and soon I'll have my family on the mats with me as well. Although I am the only one in my family that trains, I see many families at my gym and the bond they have is truly deeper than most.
Eailani, I think it's so cool that you overcame your shyness and gained confidence thanks to jiu-jitsu. I can relate in so many ways because I was terribly shy and wouldn't even have the confidence to look people in the eyes. It's nice to hear a story that is similar to mine. Great job coaching the kids and your armbars are killer. I think it's really cool you got to meet Rener Gracie because he has similar philosophies and morals as mine. You are both relatable to me :)
Jenny, I can tell you are a really sweet and humble person. It makes me really happy to hear that you gain joy from other people's happiness. I think Jeff did an amazing job at finding a great partner! I understand that it can be difficult to get on the mats more often, especially being a mother of a family. You put your motherhood responsibilities before yourself and you show great values for your children to learn from. Stepping outside your comfort zone is no easy task. Doing jiu-jitsu even though you have claustrophobia is literally facing your fears head-on. You're so brave for that and I'm happy you found a passion in it.
Jeff, I think you have a beautiful family and an amazing lifestyle. Keep inspiring the next generation to be role models and martial artists. The amount of character you will build in your children and others is a value worth more than any amount of money. I wish you all the best in your future goals of opening up your own school. With your current experience working with kids, I'm sure any student would be happy to be able to call you a mentor. Thank you for your participation and enthusiasm for the art of jiu-jitsu and my brand. You made this very pleasurable to write and I'm happy that you are a part of the Submission Shark Community.
If you are like me and don't have family members to introduce you to the sport, don't worry. Like they explained in this article, the jiu-jitsu community is a family. The type of bond and relationships you gain from this is hard to find anywhere else. The art itself is beautiful, but the people involved is what really makes it a great place to be. Whether it's your training partners or coaches, you will be pushed to your full potential, gain newfound confidence, and live a healthier lifestyle. Thanks again to the Pierson family for being a part of the Submission Shark Community. We welcome you all with open arms :)
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